Am I Angry at China?

I've never written anything really all that negative about China. I've always viewed crazy taxi drivers and other chaos as part of the fun. Sure, there are frustrations and things I don't like, but today was the first day I actually felt angry at China.

Maybe it started with all the websites that have been blocked leading up to the June 4th anniversary of Tiananmen Square. It was mostly just a nuisance, but it's also been a reminder of how far China has to come to enter the modern international community.Then yesterday, Don sent me this blogpost about an expat man who witnessed a suicide attempt. The bottom line is, he tried to help, and none of the Chinese onlookers did.

This led me to follow some links to a blog by a North American couple which had a lot of good information about why this phenomenon exists in China. They explained that in China, helping someone is considered an admission of guilt. I found one story in which an expat man who helped someone in an accident was actually taken to the police station and questioned, because if he was helping he must be at fault. We've been warned by expats more experienced that we, to avoid getting involved for this very reason.

The blog also points out that some people belive that Confucian thought supports this attitude. Confucius said, "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." Think about how different this is than the Western Golden Rule version. Telling someone to not do bad is very different than telling someone to do good. Confucius also stressed the importance of the family unit, which when taken to the extreme, may explain the Chinese reluctance to help people who are not in their family, i.e. not their responsibility.

Chinese culture very much values the group, often at the expense of the individual. Individualism can certainly be taken too far, but when the group is valued most, many bad behaviors towards people right next to you can be easily justified. Anyone not "in the group" can be discounted, and the needs of the group can be used to explain away any moral misgivings one might have about the needs of an individual.

While I have fortunately never seen an extreme example of apathy here in China (remember I live in China-lite), I have been baffled by other more mundane examples of the Chinese lack of value for the individual: pushing, reaching in front of my face, pretending I'm not there, staring as though I'm not human, etc. The complete lack of traffic courtesy or rules could be another example of not feeling they need to take others into consideration. We often witness people yelling at each other in public, and saw a man and his friend reduce a store clerk to tears while a crowd looked on, as Don wrote about in his blog back in September.

The amazing thing is, there are so many, many generous and nice Chinese people. When we have been guests in Chinese homes, all the stops are pulled out to be the most gracious of hosts. We have many people smile at us, try to talk to us, pose with us for pictures, etc. While this could be seen as a negative, I really think they are genuinely please and happy to meet us. So the contrast of the behavior I described above is all the more confusing.

And there are so many beautiful things about Chinese culture as well. They very much value art, knowledge and music, and take great pride in the beautiful city I live in. They traditionally take care of their parents, planning for and inviting them to live in their own homes. Imagine that happening in the US, where everyone values their space and privacy.

I could go on. But I guess the lesson to learn is, every culture has warts, my own included. I'm not going to say that it's okay to walk past someone in need in China or anywhere else. I think being compassionate is always a moral obligation. I hope China will absorb some of the West's value of the individual, and with it compassion for others not in their family. And maybe the West can learn from China's example of how to take care of your family.

So, I will hold to my belief that some things are just wrong, whether it is in Chinese culture, American culture or anything else. And just like with family, sometimes you're angry, and sometimes you flat out disagree. But in the end you love them anyway.

(Note: I'm hardly an expert on anything Chinese, I just live here and observe what I can. This post is my attempt to make sense of what I'm seeing around me. For a much better written and researched article about the same topic, please go to the first of three articles entitled The Good Samaritan with Chinese Characteristics located on the blog I paraphrased in paragraphs two and three.)