What to do?

Well, we’ve had our ayi for four days, and already there is a problem. The house looks great, she’s ironed all the laundry we’ve left out for her. Today it appears she stopped by to drop of cleaning supplies and made the kids’ beds while she was here (oops, I forgot to check them this morning). So what is the problem? We think we are paying her too much.

We should have asked around more, but we were feeling desperate and the rate seemed reasonable to us. Now it appears we are paying well over market rates for China. For example, the other American family in our complex is paying 1500 RMB for their ayi to work eight hours a day, five days a week. And she cooks, too. Another teacher, who is married to a Chinese woman and tends to know about the area, says the going rate is 10 RMB an hour (about $1.50). By my calculations we are paying about 20.

So, we have what amounts to a moral dilemma, of sorts. We don’t want to be perceived as chumps, and we certainly aren’t rich. On the other hand, during our meeting with the ayi here last week, we received a take-out delivery of fish and chips, for which I paid 250 RMB, or one week of what we pay her (and too much for fish and chips, I might add). Kind of puts things in perspective. I’m also feeling that three days a week is probably more than we need; she does such a great job, it’s easy to maintain. So I’m considering saying we just need two days, and offering about half of what we are currently paying, which would still be over the going rate. If that doesn’t work, well, at least my house is clean.

I got a maid

Today when we came home from school the house was spotless. At first I didn’t notice anything was different; I had forgotten that our new maid was coming. But the floors looked different, as in clean, and that was my clue. For the first time in my adult life, someone outside of our family had been in our home, and washed and scrubbed. It was miraculous.

We’ve been talking for months about whether we should get a cleaning lady, or "ayi" in Mandarin (say the letters “I E”). Contacts told us how great it was and it sounded like it was the expected thing to do. Even so, I had pretty much decided that we wouldn’t want one until I saw the reality of our life here. As I mentioned previously, there is just not enough time in the day to work at my job and do all that ironing, washing dishes, etc. So I changed my mind.

On Thursday last week I was feeling sick, frustrated with trying to launder a set of sheets in our tiny washer and dryer, and generally in a bad mood. I went to bed at 6:30, and when I got up the next morning, discovered that Don had not only set up our wireless internet, but found us an ayi (yes, I have the world’s best husband). On Friday we met with the ayi to discuss specifics. She laughed at the size of my clothes washer, which made me feel rather justified in all this. She, too, immediately recognized the futility of trying to wash the clothes for a family of five in that thing in just a few hours a week.

The ayi will come on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings for four hours each, at the cost of 1000 RMB, or about $150 a month. She washed the floors, cleaned all the bathrooms, did some laundry, ironed the clothes I left out for her, dusted, even straightened all of the bedsheets, even though I had checked that everyone made their beds before we left (we can’t have the maid thinking we’re slobs, after all). Some people here have ayis that do everything, including cooking, child care, grocery shopping, etc. Our idea is, if she can take the edge off things, like our nice appliances did in the US, then it is money well spent.

So, this may work out. I still feel guilt at having someone else do our jobs for us. But she wants the job, I want the job done, and whether it is man or machine that I pay to do it, what does it really matter in the end? Plus coming home to a spotless house really is a pleasure. There may be other benefits too. After we checked out the clean rooms, John said, “Mom, maybe we just shouldn’t touch anything.” If this can make an eleven-year-old boy more careful about keeping things clean, well, now that really is a miracle.

First week of school

Well, we made it through our first week of school. Three students and two teachers all starting a new school at the same time, it was pretty intense. Don and I are both teaching elementary ESL (English as a Second Language). Teaching younger kids is different for both of us, and in some ways will be difficult to get used to. Well, hey, we’re parents, so we’ve been around younger kids before.

For me, the hardest part of the week was watching so many children, including my own, with lost looks on their faces. Unlike most American schools, with just a few new kids each year, many of the students had just enrolled after moving from their home countries. A lot of the students are from Korea, but also from the US, Australia, Germany, France, Taiwan, Sweden, and Finland, to name a few. And at the elementary level, most come speaking no English, the curriculum language, so the change is pretty wrenching. Imagine you are six-years-old and just left your home and everything you know, and your parents send you to school where you spend all day understanding virtually nothing. That is the experience of many of these kids.

I felt good, though, that I was able to help a few students to feel taken care of. I have two little French girls in my ESL class, and I was glad that I could speak some French (badly) to them, and they seemed to feel better for it. In another instance, a teacher was trying to talk to three lost little girls. Two looked pretty Scandinavian, so I took a chance and started speaking Swedish. Sure enough, one was from Sweden and she started to talk my ear off. The other two were from Finland and Italy. The girls didn’t speak the same language, but they were clinging to each other for comfort. It was sad and heartening at the same time.

At least my own children speak English. And yet they were having a hard time, too. John was obsessed with getting a printout of his schedule, which for some reason they didn’t give him for the first few days. I can understand his distress; he already feels lost and out of control in our move, and a printed schedule gives him some much-needed structure. Since he got the schedule he seems less stressed about school. By the end of the week, all of the kids were talking about the students in their classes, the countries they are from, and generally seemed a little less freaked out and a little more calm. Allyne is even trying out for the school play. It’s still going to take some time, but I’m sure they, like the rest of the new students, will eventually feel like they are part of the school community.

I miss my appliances

I said I would write a post about the appliances and I'm finally doing it. One reason it has taken me so long is that our internet has been spotty or just not working. That situation, along with the state of our appliances has been making me rather frustrated. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret what we are doing. But American life has accustomed me to a certain amount of convenience, speed and efficiency, which are sorely lacking here. Just about everything I want to do takes at least four times longer than it did back home, whether it is logging into the computer, getting groceries, or doing the laundry. So follow along for a report on the machines (or lack thereof) that inhabit our home:




The sink. So small even one plate can't lay flat in it. Do I need to say more? Yes, I do. Dishwashers have revolutionized womanhood. There.




The oven. Don just used it for the first time tonight. It actually worked pretty well. So we can have our cookie fix now and then.




The refrigerator is tiny, too, but actually it hasn't been a problem. Mainly it means I can't overbuy, and the produce has to be used quickly, instead of languishing until it becomes soup. The freezer is on the bottom, by the way. I'm not sure why it is the same amount of space as the fridge part.




I actually like the stove. The gas burners get really hot, which is great when making Chinese food. Finally I get the temperature I want! But you have to watch things like sauces, because it's pretty hard to get the right simmer. We just have to get used to that. When I have my "dream" kitchen someday, I want one burner like these for wok cooking. The toaster is the first we've ever had (only toaster ovens), and the rice cooker is great. If you don't have one, go get one. I had one back in the US and I never want to be without one.




This is the TV in my and Don's room. We've never had a TV in our room before, in fact, we've pretty much been a one TV family until now . We get quality shows like the Mandarin version of the popular 80s sitcom "Growing Pains". Here we see Mike having a moment.




The TV in the family room. The cable is out, but we haven't bothered to report it because A: it's too much of a pain to deal with our "agent", and B: no one is particularly missing it, even though we could be watching the 24 hour Toy Channel, in which they talk about and show kids playing with...toys.




This is the electric AC/heating unit, and each room has it's own. So far, it works great to cool the house. We'll see how well it works in the winter. We may be stocking up on blankets.




Ah, the washer. A bucket that spins. No hot water, no special settings, no bleach dispenser, no timers, none of the great features I came to know and love on my washer back home (which I wiped with a diaper, I loved it so). This washer and I are tolerating one another, but it's not a happy relationship. Notice the size (the iron is on top for scale). Notice we are five full-size Americans. Notice the scowl on my face.




The interior. No agitator. The clothes are really just rinsed and it shows. At least the agent helpfully put stickers with English words on them so I could run the stupid thing. Sigh.




Don calls this the "Easy Bake Dryer" and as you can see from the size of the iron on top, it isn't an inaccurate description: the settings are "on" or "off", and you can't fit much in it. It enjoys a nice view from the laundry porch, though.




This is the dryer with three pillowcases in it. I tried to dry seven, but they just turned into a crumpled wad. To me, the point of a dryer is not having to iron anything. But to dry anything in this dryer without it wrinkling, the loads have to be small. Like one shirt.


Conclusion: I'm getting a maid. Yes, you heard me right. I've never wanted to pay someone to do our work for us but the reality is this: we are five people, in a small apartment, with two working parents, and sub-par or non-existent appliances. I can't spend my evenings running miniscule loads of laundry and ironing everything we own. So, let's give a big shout out to our machine friends who make American life enjoyable, doable, and downright civilized. Now go give your dishwasher a big hug from me.

Dreaming

Well, it's 6 am and I've had yet another half-wakeful night. I really can't remember when I was able to just sleep right through the night, without my friend, Benadryl. I remember my dreams, though: one night I was in France visiting our friends but I couldn't talk to them; last night I was in some region of the world that harbors terrorists and I could travel through time and space instantly, yet I stayed there. Hmm, wonder what all that means. I haven't yet dreamt I was back in Arizona, as far as I know.

I just can't completely relax, and haven't in months. I am so proud of all the work we've done: researching the possibilities of this project, going after the jobs, landing the job in THE city in the world I wanted to live in most right now, making our house look beautiful to sell, getting the family here, hitting the ground running when we got here to make this place our home. And it does feel like home already. But even so, something in my psyche resents being yanked half way across the world. We have completely stepped out of our comfort zone, and I guess none of us really have our bearings yet, in spite of the fact that we are all excited to be here. So it's my job and Don's to create a new comfort zone for our kids so they feel taken care of.

And as for me, I'm going to invent my own comfortable place, because while I love it here, it's still too new. And it's not in Arizona, because while I liked it there, I also willingly gave it up, and, at least at this point, I can't go back. So my place is a cottage in Sweden, next to a small lake out in the country. No neighbors, just a porch to sit on in the evenings and look at the sun glistening on the lake, while eating cardamom buns and drinking hot chocolate. The cottage furnishings are right out of a Carl Larsson painting, and in the bedroom is a huge white bed, all white linens, soft white pillows. It's late May, so if I wake up at 1 or 2 am, I can sit on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, and watch the sky glow with the rising sun. And then I can climb back into bed, and sleep again, because I have nowhere to be, nothing to do, but be there with my family.

New Blog

I don't have time to do my next post yet, but I'll put in a plug for Don's and my new blog called "What the Snack is That?" in which we review all the bizarre Chinese snacks we have been finding. And there are many. So check out our first posts at www.whatthesnack.blogspot.com . And I'll post again here soon.

Our Apartment

The dining room. The wall "art" has to go.




The living room, Allyne and more bad wall art. We like the couch, though.




Three of the rooms have huge window seats.




The kids are already using these as a place to nap. We're going to get someone to make seat cushions and pillows to make it even more bed-like.




The "atrium", actually a sun porch with a retractable clothes-line. We've basically given Emma carte blanche to put whatever plants in there she wants. She's pretty excited about it. So is the little old Chinese guy at the nursery.




Another view of the living room. Except for the plants and the Wii, everything you see in these rooms was provided by the school.




Emma at the desk in John's room, which is where all of us currently access the internet. That chair gets a lot of seat-time. We asked the real-estate agent for a wardrobe for John; the rooms don't have closets and John's has no wardrobe, either. She seemed to think the bookcase was sufficient. When I asked her where John should keep his clothes, she told me to ask the school. Sigh. Well, the school will have more leverage than we will on that anyway, so I'll take her advice and get them to talk to our landlord.




Allyne and Emma's room. We don't have enough hangars and we've already cleared two stores of their stock. Getting hangars for five people's entire wardrobe is not an easy feat. You can see laundry hanging in the atrium. Why we are air-drying our clothes will be apparent when I do my post on Chinese appliances.




This is the view from Don's and my bedroom window. Not bad, eh? The apartment complexes here all have gardens in the middle. We also have a little store in the complex. As the Chinese always say, it's "convenient". For some reason they love that word. Must have been in Lesson 23 of The People's Number 7 English.




Me and Don's room. We have our own bathroom, too. The beds are hard, like a box spring. I love it. The kids don't.




View from the kitchen.




Stove. They provided a toaster, bread, orange marmalade and tea. What do they think we are, British? We had to get our own wok and rice steamer.




The first dinner I cooked in the kitchen: Unidentified fish, which I couldn't get the fish guy to clean, even though he had just cleaned someone elses fish (I did it myself..mostly), grean beans and garlic, and rice. No one complained, so I consider it a success.




View from John's room. He has the best view with the canal and the city. We just look at the neighbors from our side.