resolutelee

"30 Rock" or "Leeds Preserves Her Own Rice Bowl"

2009-06-05T22:59:00.005+08:00

I've finally bought the DVDs for 30 Rock, since it's been recommended to me by a number of people. I admit, I really don't know much about it. Thankfully I have the program description on the back of the DVD to help me out. Here it is copied in its entirety:

The chief screenwriter is not good does. Must worry the script to be obsolete, must worry that the viewing ratio is not good. If high-level has the little change, under will look like the donminoes equally to have the consecutive reaction along with it, finally will make a snowman likely is the same, evolves bad and the abomoinable Italian chaotic condition. "I for Comedy Crazy" the leading lady am meeting such life difficult position, although has the magnificent reputation. Is works as red comedy Xiu chief screenwriter. However was old boss to die of illness recently, takes office newly the new boss seems is not too recognizes her style, in addition in the program these size stars are also troublesome very much, all of a sudden let leading lady Leeds be tired out from the press. However regardless of how the worry, the life can also continue, should bow also to bow. Therefore to preserve own rice bowl, also to defend oneself chief screenwriter's dignity, in a metropolis the white-collar may meet frequently the scene started. How to maintain own individuality, and can simultaneously maintain the comfortable livelihood, this is not a gate relaxed curriculum, even if is the body is the chief screenwriter, the work place sways back and forth many year Leeds, must graduate also the non-easy matter.

I'm ready to watch.

(Link to Don's post about Chinese DVDs here)

Am I Angry at China?

2009-06-04T21:40:00.005+08:00

I've never written anything really all that negative about China. I've always viewed crazy taxi drivers and other chaos as part of the fun. Sure, there are frustrations and things I don't like, but today was the first day I actually felt angry at China.

Maybe it started with all the websites that have been blocked leading up to the June 4th anniversary of Tiananmen Square. It was mostly just a nuisance, but it's also been a reminder of how far China has to come to enter the modern international community.Then yesterday, Don sent me this blogpost about an expat man who witnessed a suicide attempt. The bottom line is, he tried to help, and none of the Chinese onlookers did.

This led me to follow some links to a blog by a North American couple which had a lot of good information about why this phenomenon exists in China. They explained that in China, helping someone is considered an admission of guilt. I found one story in which an expat man who helped someone in an accident was actually taken to the police station and questioned, because if he was helping he must be at fault. We've been warned by expats more experienced that we, to avoid getting involved for this very reason.

The blog also points out that some people belive that Confucian thought supports this attitude. Confucius said, "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." Think about how different this is than the Western Golden Rule version. Telling someone to not do bad is very different than telling someone to do good. Confucius also stressed the importance of the family unit, which when taken to the extreme, may explain the Chinese reluctance to help people who are not in their family, i.e. not their responsibility.

Chinese culture very much values the group, often at the expense of the individual. Individualism can certainly be taken too far, but when the group is valued most, many bad behaviors towards people right next to you can be easily justified. Anyone not "in the group" can be discounted, and the needs of the group can be used to explain away any moral misgivings one might have about the needs of an individual.

While I have fortunately never seen an extreme example of apathy here in China (remember I live in China-lite), I have been baffled by other more mundane examples of the Chinese lack of value for the individual: pushing, reaching in front of my face, pretending I'm not there, staring as though I'm not human, etc. The complete lack of traffic courtesy or rules could be another example of not feeling they need to take others into consideration. We often witness people yelling at each other in public, and saw a man and his friend reduce a store clerk to tears while a crowd looked on, as Don wrote about in his blog back in September.

The amazing thing is, there are so many, many generous and nice Chinese people. When we have been guests in Chinese homes, all the stops are pulled out to be the most gracious of hosts. We have many people smile at us, try to talk to us, pose with us for pictures, etc. While this could be seen as a negative, I really think they are genuinely please and happy to meet us. So the contrast of the behavior I described above is all the more confusing.

And there are so many beautiful things about Chinese culture as well. They very much value art, knowledge and music, and take great pride in the beautiful city I live in. They traditionally take care of their parents, planning for and inviting them to live in their own homes. Imagine that happening in the US, where everyone values their space and privacy.

I could go on. But I guess the lesson to learn is, every culture has warts, my own included. I'm not going to say that it's okay to walk past someone in need in China or anywhere else. I think being compassionate is always a moral obligation. I hope China will absorb some of the West's value of the individual, and with it compassion for others not in their family. And maybe the West can learn from China's example of how to take care of your family.

So, I will hold to my belief that some things are just wrong, whether it is in Chinese culture, American culture or anything else. And just like with family, sometimes you're angry, and sometimes you flat out disagree. But in the end you love them anyway.

(Note: I'm hardly an expert on anything Chinese, I just live here and observe what I can. This post is my attempt to make sense of what I'm seeing around me. For a much better written and researched article about the same topic, please go to the first of three articles entitled The Good Samaritan with Chinese Characteristics located on the blog I paraphrased in paragraphs two and three.)

The Indignities of Learning Chinese

2009-06-03T20:01:00.006+08:00

Everyone knows that the best way to learn a language is to live in the country. Immersing yourself in the local language and culture provides opportunities to learn from natives, practice new vocabulary, and pick up natural speech patterns. Compared to learning from a book, cd, or even in a class, there is nothing like living in a foreign country for learning a language quickly and well.

Too bad I don't live in China.

I live in Expat World, a fantasy land that hovers somewhere on the periferal vision of the local Chinese. Occasionally, our worlds collide, often with messy results, but by and large, we coexist in a kind of blissful ignorance of one another.

I get up in the morning and get on the staff bus that takes me to school, along with my family. I work all day with other expat staff, most of whom are native English speakers, teaching an English language curriculum to expat students. On weekends, I go to church with other expats, no Chinese are allowed to worship with us, or us with them.

Do I ever speak Chinese? Sure, I do. Two hours each week with my Chinese tutor. A couple of sentences to taxi drivers, or a few words to store clerks. And I always say "ni hao" to the nice guards at our apartment complex.

I intended to write some posts about how frustrating and humbling it is at times to learn Chinese, and I think I still will. But when I think about how few natural opportunities I have to speak Chinese, it really depresses me. So, I'll keep taking my classes and reading my grammar books. I'll start talking to my kids in Mandarin, or try to strike up conversations with the guy at the corner store. I'll watch some grueling Chinese TV.

And maybe one of these days I'll speak enough Chinese to find China around here.

A Moment at the Great Wall

2009-05-13T20:55:00.011+08:00

I'm a dreamer. I'm constantly thinking about what's around the next corner, making plans (or "schemes" as Don calls them) and looking for possibilities. I consider this one of my strengths, and yet it is also a weakness. Sometimes I find that I'm looking too far ahead, not appreciating the present, and undervaluing what I already have. So when I have an experience that grounds me firmly in the present, it makes a big impression on me.

I can only name a few such occasions. One was standing in London's Hyde Park with Don and the kids, our first trip overseas together as a family. We couldn't believe that we were actually there with our three young children. Another would be any time I see the Grand Canyon. It humbles me, makes me feel small, yet amazes me that I'm part of something so large. It puts me in my place.

This trip to the Great Wall was just such an experience. I had been to the wall before; three years ago I went there with another teacher, a friend of mine, for a teacher exchange program in China. The wall was crawling with tourists, and our tour guide was hounding us to keep our visit short. It was great, but I knew I needed to go back to see it differently.

And this trip was entirely different. The few tourists at that part of the wall went east, and we went west. We pitched our tents in an original watch-tower with no roof. We spent almost 24 hours absolutely by ourselves, just the wall, the hills and us. As dusk approached, we watched the sky glow orange behind the next tower. We slept with the tower walls around us and the stars for our roof. We woke as the sun and the wall met at the horizon. The entire time I was in awe of our surroundings and the solitude. And most of all, I was grateful that we were experiencing it together.

It was and entire day of being in the moment, and not wanting the moment to end.

That's So China: Taxi or Formula One?

2009-05-10T20:47:00.004+08:00

I'm usually a cheapskate about transportation here and insist on taking buses whenever possible, but we were running late, so we took a taxi to church. You never quite know what you are getting yourself into when you get a taxi here. The drivers range from the rare careful driver, to the more common race-car-driver-wanna-be. Today was one of the latter. He grunted when I told him the directions, which I've found to be a sign of a fast driver, and, sure enough, he sped through red lights most of the way (Moral dilemma: When you're late for church, is it okay to hope the driver runs red lights?). We're so used to this kind of thing that none of us flinch or even notice anymore when breaking the traffic laws. I don't even cringe when driving in the path of an oncoming bus. All to be expected here.

This guy, however, was notable because he had been smoking before he picked us up, and so he thoughtfully held his cigarette out the window with his left hand while he steered and changed gears with his right. It sounds impressive, but the prize for the most skillful taxi driver I've experienced goes to the guy who used his left hand to talk on his cell phone, while his right hand held his wallet, and still managed to steer and shift gears. Imagine the admiration I felt when this same driver shot the gap to pass a long line of cars, and just made it back into the right lane in time to avoid the oncoming traffic.

I do have other favorite rides, though, that are on the other end of the spectrum. There's the chatty woman driver, I've ridden with her twice, who when I tell her directions, repeats them over and over, asks me for confirmation, and thanks me profusely. She says a whole lot of other things to me, while I nod and pretend like I understand her. Another guy I've ridden with more than once played easy-listening music and drove at an even, leisurely pace, obeying all traffic rules. I felt like I'd just had a good 15 minutes of meditation after getting out of his cab. Of course, I must have jinxed it by telling him, "See you again," because I haven't seen him since. Another memorable driver hacked and spit out the window with great gusto for most of the drive. This skill still enables the driver to use both hands to maneuver the car, so all in all I considered it a good ride.

So, whether it's driving with one hand, sqeaking through an intersection by just missing the cross traffic, or hocking a juicy loogie, I have to hand it to the taxi drivers here: they're one talented bunch.

That's So China

2009-04-22T16:59:00.004+08:00

Today when I got home from work, I was walking up to my apartment building and heard a chicken squawking. I turned around to see a man in a sports coat and slacks taking a chicken out of his black Peugeot sedan. The chicken was uncooperatively trying to escape from a cardboard box, so he put his black leather briefcase on the box lid.

I went up to my apartment, but few minutes later when I was again getting on my elevator, he was coming out, with the box and the chicken. He put the chicken in his trunk and drove away.
I'm not exactly sure what happened, and why, but a story that involves a chicken, a briefcase and a Peugeot is one that needs to be shared.

I never cease to be amazed by the juxtaposition of things both modern and undeveloped that make up China today.

Hangzhou

2009-04-07T21:30:00.004+08:00

Since we had no tombs to sweep for Tomb Sweeping Day, we went to a nearby city, Hangzhou, for the long weekend. Hangzhou is known throughout China as one of the most beautiful cities in China, along with Suzhou. There is actually an old Chinese saying : Heaven above, Suzhou and Hangzhou below.

Xi Hu, or West Lake, is the main attraction. Decide for yourself if you think it's a little bit of heaven on earth.

Family Portrait

2009-02-27T22:00:00.003+08:00

Don't we look great?

Hong Kong vol. 3: Hong Kong at Night

2009-02-22T21:37:00.006+08:00

Dusk over the Harbor as seen from Victoria Peak

Also from Vicoria Peak, the view of the city. I like to compare this to seeing the Grand Canyon. They are each views that are magnificent, awe inspiring and humbling. One speaks of God's majesty, the other of Man's ingenuity. Both are incredible.

See, we were actually there. Well, at least there is proof for four of us.

The kids outside the Hong Kong LDS Temple on Christmas Day.

Hong Kong vol. 2: Around the city

2009-02-19T21:12:00.007+08:00

A view from Hong Kong Park

A picture of people taking a picture of people taking a picture in Hong Kong Park

In Times Square. It seems like every Chinese city has a Times Square, even Suzhou.

Small shopping street, much steeper than the picture shows

The gate of an old prison

Next up: Hong Kong at Night

Hong Kong vol. 1: The hotel and Soho

2009-02-18T21:26:00.010+08:00

I'm finally posting some images from our trip to Hong Kong for Christmas:

This is our itty-bitty hotel room, actually at a guest house (kind of like a hostel). We all stayed for a week in one small room, about the size of John's bedroom at our apartment. There were three bunk beds, you can see the one overhead, the one in the background, and the one to the left in this picture. The bathroom is to the left, actually the size of a shower stall, and in fact, it doubled as the shower stall, with toilet and shower in one small space. With a view right into someone's kitchen if you opened the window. When we got back to Suzhou, we actually felt like our apartment was huge!

The Soho area of Hong Kong has an outdoor escalator to carry people to the higher streets in the neighborhood. I understand it moves down the mountain in the morning to take commuters to their jobs, then switches to up the mountain for the remainder of the day.

Views from the escalator:

Next up: Views from the city

Opting-out

2009-02-09T22:59:00.005+08:00

It's supposedly the last night of the Chinese New Year (we thought it was last night, or maybe tomorrow night, who knows?). Maybe you thought it was a one night deal, but it's not. We've had fireworks, ranging from just a couple a day to the full barrage, every day since my last posting. That first night of fireworks remains one of the coolest things we've seen, but after two weeks of fireworks, we're not really feeling the need to experience it again tonight. Plus we have to work tomorrow. So, with the help of earplugs, we're opting out.

The New Year, China-style

2009-01-26T00:34:00.005+08:00

It's just after midnight in China, the Year of the Ox, and we just experienced our first Chinese New Year. I know Don is also blogging about this, but I have to say, that was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. We've been seeing fireworks and hearing firecrackers all evening, but as midnight approached, the intensity and frequency increased. We went outside to experience the full sight, sound and taste (from the thick smoke).

People were setting off fireworks in front of our apartment building, in back of our apartment, at the nearby apartments. And not chintzy fireworks, but honest-to-goodness huge professional-looking fireworks. People were lighting firecrackers on their rooftops, and fireworks were coming up out of every apartment complex, lighting the windows of the highrise buildings. Every direction we looked we could see fireworks or see someone setting off fire crackers. It was so loud we couldn't hear each other, and it continued for about 45 minutes. As Don said, it was like being in the fireworks.

The main concentration has died down, but you can still hear popping and booming across the city. Apparently this will continue all week, to some degree, as the New Year celebrations continue. I don't know how much sleep we'll get tonight, if this goes on, but it's worth it.

Foggy Day

2008-12-17T19:53:00.005+08:00

We had another foggy day this morning when we were riding the staff bus to school. While it's often foggy in the mornings here, there have been two days in which the fog was so thick we couldn't see anything around us as we drove through the streets of Suzhou. A couple of weeks ago the fog was so dense that the bus driver had to honk at each intersection to make sure he wouldn't run into anyone, or them into us. You might be asking why people continued to drive, ride bikes and scooters, and walk across streets in these conditions, but in China that is like asking, well, like asking "why" about anything around here. It's just the way it is, and why change your habits just for safety's sake? Safety is really not at the forefront of anyone's mind around here. That might explain the worker sweeping in the street today in the fog. When he became visible only a few feet in front of our bus, our driver was skilled enough to swerve. The worker didn't even flinch.

Even in the fog, cars, busses and scooters don't turn on their headlights. I read somewhere that the Chinese believe that turning on car headlights will drain the batteries. The most dangerous time of day to walk around here, in my opinion, is at dusk, when you can barely see the cars, and they surely can't see you at all. I've been in taxis careening through traffic with no headlights at all, when the sun was already past the horizon. If that's how they operate every day, a day of fog is not going to change that. Don and I were on the bus laughing about the lack of headlights, when, lo and behold! we spotted a car with lit headlights. Maybe they thought this was prudent in their case, because they were driving on the wrong side of the road against traffic. In the fog. Safety first!

My first haircut

2008-12-14T19:56:00.007+08:00

I finally got up the guts to get my hair cut and colored. I had it done just before we left for China, knowing that I wouldn't want to worry about it for a while, but I never intended to go for four months without a haircut. My hair just got longer and longer. Don finally said, "Uh, Lee, you probably need to get a haircut." Well, when your husband notices that it's too long, it's time.

My friend, Sue, recommended a guy, and her hair looks great, so I took her advice. I've been worried that when I got my hair colored it would end up really dark, and I've seen a number of expats with really dark and obviously dyed hair. My thinking is, the stylists are used to dark hair here, almost exclusively, so that's why all the dark dye-jobs. But Sue's hair is blonde and it looked really nice, so I thought I'd give it a try. She said the guy, Jack (Chinese people often have a second English name they use with us expats) spoke some English, so I figured I would be able to communicate. For a backup I asked my Chinese tutor how to say things like "I want the same color" and "I want the same cut, just shorter". I thought I was ready and so I called and set up the appointment. Jack did indeed speak some English, and I used the two ensuing days to get myself in the right frame of mind.

See, I really hate getting my hair cut. I don't like being fussed over, I don't like having strangers running their fingers through my hair, and I don't like being at someone else's mercy quite so much. So whenever I'm going for a cut or color, I have to get myself prepped mentally for the experience. Also, I really resent the time spent sitting there, and since I've started coloring my hair, the time spent in the salon chair has quadrupled. I try to tell myself it's an opportunity to catch up on my reading.

So when I arrived I was ready, well except I forgot to learn or bring the Chinese phrases I'd asked my teacher about. And I didn't bring a picture like I intended. And I really wasn't in the mood to read for three hours. And I just really didn't want to be there. But I decided to "be a woman" and deal with my fate.

Jack did speak a bit of English, and he seemed to understand me when I explained through hand motions and modified English that I wanted the same color, he even held my hair up to the sample to show me. And I was pretty sure that showing him the "scissors" motion with my fingers and showing him where to cut was communicating just fine.

Well, the scissors thing worked. I really like the length, and he knew how to cut my hair in the layers like I wanted. In fact today when I washed it and let it dry curly, it actually looks better than it ever did curly before. Who would have thought a guy who spends his career cutting straight hair could cut it curly hair that well?

But then there is the color. He told me he would put in highlights, so I thought, okay, well why not. But when the towel came off my head, I was a little shocked. It was light, like really light. I thought to myself, "Okay, it's wet now, it's just gonna be lighter when it's dry" and once he blew it out, it was. I tried not to show the shock on my face, but sat there wondering why I didn't just say something.

I know women everywhere can relate to that moment of truth. You're sitting there in the chair, the hair stylist just did something you totally didn't expect, maybe it even makes you want to cry, but you, ever the stoic woman, sit there smiling as she fusses with your hair, proud of her handywork. The one time I tried to say, "Hey, this isn't what I asked for!" the guy persisted in telling me it looked great on me, so I finally had to give up. And with Jack and me not even speaking the same language and all, I figured it was futile to do anything but tell him the color was great. "Color good?" he asked. "Yes," I said, and smiled.

So, whenever I pass a mirror, I get that, "Who is that?" feeling. And today, with it curly, I've been singing the Cowardly Lion song from the Wizard of Oz to make the kids laugh. But I'm sure, with a little time, I'll get used to it. I always do.

Obama in China

2008-11-06T18:49:00.007+08:00

Last night Emma and I went for an ice-cream run to the little grocery store in our apartment complex. When we first moved here the couple that runs the place seemed suspicious of us and rather gruff. But I used my not-so-good Chinese to tell them that we were Americans, and ever since they have been friendly, and giggle, amused, when I carefully pronounce the amount of money I have to pay in an attempt to practice Chinese.

So last night after we paid for our ice-cream bars the husband started to talk to me. I understood only one word, "mei guo", which is "America". I thought he was asking me if we were American, maybe he hadn't understood me the first time, but when I told him we were American again, he kept talking. I stood there with a confused look on my face as I tried to tell him I didn't understand. He persisted, and finally it dawned on me that there was one more word I understood: Obama. My look of confusion changed to one of recognition as I blurted out, "Obama!" "Obama!" he repeated and I gave him two thumbs up as we exchanged smiles. It seems that even a shop keeper in China is interested in the American presidential election.

I don't know exactly what our grocer was saying to me. Maybe he was saying that he can't believe we would elect Obama for president. But one thing is for sure: the entire world watched as our country elected, for the first time, a man with African heritage, for the most conspicuous and powerful job on earth. People from countries which hold no elections saw Americans choose a new kind of president and new party to represent us, illustrating that in a democracy, the country can change direction peacefully and by the will of the people. Even if they don't like the country's choice, the message is still there, that we are a free and inclusive society.

Like it or not, people look at us and often up to us. While it sounds nice to suppose that our election is our own, by Americans and for Americans, we can't ignore the fact that our choice of president is significant to people all over the world. For many, the election of Obama represents change, progress and optimism for the future. Beyond focusing on domestic policies and needs, of which there are obviously many, this election has given us a chance to shine as Americans, a chance to show the world how we really do things. Europeans, Chinese and Africans may not know or understand America's internal issues, and why should they, but they know that our country is not afraid to elect someone who appears different or out of the main stream. This is a powerful message to send to the world, and I'm proud that our nation has done that.

I hope that people from both parties will recognize the significance of this election, even if they don't agree with Obama's policies. That Americans told the world that a candidate like Barack Obama is their choice to represent us is both inspiring and humbling to me. And whatever my Chinese grocer was trying to say to me about it, he obviously knew that it was an important world event. On some level or another, he gets the message, too.

2008-11-04T21:25:00.005+08:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted, and to be honest, every time I think about the computer it makes me tired. I never know if I can get into Hotmail, if the internet will crash, whatever. It's even been bad at work. So it just depresses me to think about it, and I have about 10 partly written emails in my drafts folder in Hotmail, so if you are someone who has written to me and I haven't responded, I appologize.

Speaking of being tired, Don and I have found it both strange and a relief to be out of the country for this election. I will admit it now: we are non-voters this time. We have what I think is a pretty valid excuse; moving our family across the world, starting new jobs and new schools for the kids has been pretty intense. I tell myself it really wouldn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things if I voted or not, but I've always been a believer that it is a citizen's duty to vote, and, well, I blew it. So I guess I feel guilty, is what I'm trying to say.

The reality of it is, though, that there are things about America I worry about far more than who or what party is in power. I am saddened by the political cynicism that pervades our society, eating away at our trust and diverting energy away from things that matter. When people assume that the "other side" are idiots or fanatics, how can real discussion of issues take place? When the first rule of debate is to call your opponent stupid, where can people go to weigh their options?

At my school right now, our third-grade unit is World Beliefs, including religion. One of the goals is to teach the beginnings of the skill of dialectical thought, or thinking about two or more points of view at the same time. This is a tall order for kids, especially when most adults seem to avoid this exercise in tolerance, and instead regress to labeling the opponent as deluded or unintelligent. As I understand it, dialectical discourse does not necessarily mean that both parties agree, but that each recognizes that the other has valid points to make.

I believe that engaging in political or idealogical name-calling, even on the ground level, does more harm to our country than any politician. When we no longer respect and acknowledge the ideas of our philosophical opposites, we diminish our own ability to reason and to persuade. It undermines the strength of our own opinions and lowers debate to school-yard bullying.

It's tempting to dismiss people with different views, but that is the lazy way out. Actually understanding another person's views is far more difficult, but the benefits are that we have a better framework for verbalizing our own ideas, and we are better able to persuade others, instead of just appealing to people's emotions. I believe that American's are capable of this kind of reasoned, rational debate, and long for a more civilized way of discussing sensitive topics, like politics and religion. My hope is that people learn how to think about more than one point of view at the same time. And they are welcome to join my third-graders as they learn how.

Our kitchen has arrived

2008-10-16T20:35:00.016+08:00

Since we got our shipment, the kitchen seems so much more like home. Here are some pictures that show how we're fitting enough for a family of five in a tiny kitchen. Not bad, eh?

We shipped our refrigerator magnets we've collected from travels, just because we could!

We bought the storage rack here, but I'm glad threw the baskets into the shipment.

Kitchens have a drying rack in a drawer for small plates, bowls and chopsticks. Some of them are actually an appliance, with heat or air or something. Ours isn't that fancy. We wish it was a washing machine.

I'm particularly proud of the spice cabinet. I shipped the organizers. Look how great it is!

We moved this cabinet into the dining area to hold dishes. The bottom has our bakeware, cookbooks, and the snacks I buy for my other blog, awaiting review.

This is the first dinner with our newly shipped spices: Couscous with Chicken. Here's how to make it:

Saute some cubed chicken, diced onion and garlic. Add 1 Tbs cumin and 1 tsp paprika, and a dash of turmeric. Stir. Meanwhile cube carrots, bell pepper (any color), zucchini and eggplant, adding each as you cube them (hardest to softest). Stir frequently. Add chicken broth or bullion and water. Simmer over low heat until vegetables are soft. Add tomato wedges (they will just heat through). Serve over couscous or rice.

Not as good as the couscous our friend Nadia made us in France, but it will do. We have to do what we can!

If we haven't used it in four months do we really need it?

2008-10-14T21:05:00.005+08:00

This evening we got our shipment from the US delivered. The school provided for up to three cubic meters per teacher to be shipped and we used about four of our six. As I mentioned in a previous post, deciding what to keep, give away, store, or ship was a major and long process. We ended up giving away a large majority of our belongings, whether to friends or to charity. I'm also sorry to say a lot of it ended up in the trash. Well, we tried, and it honestly feels pretty good to be free of that much stuff.

But we were a little nervous about getting our shipment today. We remembered that we shipped kitchen equipment and spices, which we have been noticing the lack of quite a bit. And we've also missed having books in the house. We are continually rereading or using for reference a number of our favorite books. We shipped a few boxes of these, as well as some favorite DVDs (CDs were all stored on a portable hard-drive). But we couldn't remember everything we put in the boxes, and were not sure it would all fit in our three-bedroom apartment. We've been feeling like, for the most part, the apartment fits our needs, but wondered if getting all our things from the US would make it feel packed.

Well, so far, so good. I thankfully shipped some storage shelves and bins for the kitchen, which fit nicely in the cupboards. With the bookshelf'/cupboard we moved from John's room serving as extra space for our baking supplies, the kitchen is entirely put away. We will do some minor readjustments, but it looks like it will fit, and look good to boot. And we actually have a lot of empty space in our hall closet. We thought it would be packed, but it has plenty of room for whatever else we decide to aquire here. We need more bookshelves, but not much more, the kids need some help organizing the personal items they shipped so they aren't in a pile on the bottom of their wardrobes, but other than that, it's looking pretty good. Oh, and we shipped some framed art prints as well, so it's starting to look more like the home we are used to.

The only frustrating thing is, we are missing some things we thought we shipped. Thinking back, we're pretty sure we neglected to put them in the stack for the movers, but we're not entirely certain. The bad thing is, it is a small box of our favorite Christmas decorations we wanted to have here, some irreplacable ceramics that Allyne made, and our picture of the temple. So it's things we really wanted, and would feel badly if they were lost forever. We're hoping Don's family will be able to tell us if they are back in Arizona, but it might not be possible to find out until we go back next summer.

I remember someone saying once, that if you haven't used something in a long time, you don't really need it, and most of this stuff hasn't been seen by us since we moved out of our house four months ago. That idea may fit a lot of situations, but after moving across the world, giving up almost all our things, I can tell you that having a some familiar items around the house again is a comforting thing. A few books and pictures, equipment to bake cookes and pizza, now it's really feeling like home.

Family Food: Curry Chicken

2008-10-12T15:42:00.005+08:00

We haven't been doing to badly, eating-wise. We eat a lot more Chinese food, of my own making, plus approximations of our old favorites, minus the Mexican food (that has been sorely lacking, and I plan to rectify that, soon). But the family have been liking the stuff I've been making, well more like inventing, for dinner each night. I can't cook exactly like I did in the US, in part because some ingredients are different, but mostly because I'm lacking my kitchen equipment, which is still sitting in a warehouse in Shanghai. We should get our things on Tuesday. We hope.

One new creation that has become a favorite here is curry chicken. The little convenience store has packages of frozen pre-cubed chicken for cheap, so I stir-fry those with some onion and garlic. When it's about browned, I add cubed potatoes and carrots, then curry paste (powder would work), chicken bullion and a little water. I let it simmer in the wok until the vegetables are tender, then add broccoli and/or cabbage (cauliflower would be good), cover and cook it a minute more, and it's done. If I think the sauce isn't thick enough, I add a little cornstarch and water at the end. We eat it over rice, which is already waiting, thanks to my trusty rice cooker.

Things you might not know about China: Chinese gardens rock!

2008-10-04T22:27:00.011+08:00

Rocks are a prominent feature in Chinese gardens. In fact, they are often the focus, as you can see in the following photos. Since I love rocks, I'm always fascinated by how many ways they can be used to create interest and texture in a garden. I love Chinese gardens!

Emma and John on rock outcroppings at the Garden of the Master of the Nets.

Pathways are always made out of a mosaic of rock, often in intricate patterns, as seen at the Lion Grove Garden

Rocks from Tai Hu (Tai Lake) are used in the gardens of Suzhou as architecture, as in the labyrinths of Lion Grove Garden, above, and as sculpture, as seen below at the Humble Administrator's Garden.

Rocks are often cut and framed, their patterns forming a picture. Usually they look like mountains or rivers. This one looks like a river and village to me. I've seen similar rock pictures for sale, and this is one of the main things I would like to aquire here in China.

This rock specimen has a specially designed stand, which mimics the size and shape of the rock itself. So incredibly beautiful!

Gardens often use Tai Hu rocks as "bricks" to form tunnels, viewing platforms, and pathways. Here Emma stands at the entrance of a tunnel at the Lion's Grove Garden.

The following are examples of rocks used to create a mountain scene. Notice how much the scale varies. Some even have soil and small plants between the rocks to complete the effect. The first pictures are of rock scenes at Tiger Hill. The last is a modern variation of a mountain scene, located at the Suzhou Museum, designed by I.M. Pei (more on this building in a later post).

Favorite photos

2008-10-03T22:57:00.005+08:00

Humble Administrator's Garden, Suzhou, August 19th, 2008

Things you might not know about China: The Colonel's Kingdom

2008-10-01T23:04:00.008+08:00

KFC is hugely poplular in China. Suzhou, a city of 6 million, has KFCs everywhere. There are only 3 McDonalds'.

Downtown Suzhou pedestrian street. Notice the KFC lamp-posts. These are a permanent part of the lamp post, not a flag or banner. They light up at night.

Our neighborhood, Suzhou Industrial Park, China

2008-09-29T22:38:00.007+08:00

Our normally hazy skies have cleared and the past three days have been sunny, cool and beautiful. The following are some pictures I took while walking in our neighborhood.

Our Apartment Complex Grounds

Blue Skies Over Suzhou

The Clock Tower

Central Park: Entrance

Central Park: Touch

Central Park: Walk

Central Park: Shade

Street: Suzhou Industrial Park

The Amazing Race to Church

2008-09-28T12:51:00.007+08:00

We spend a lot of time in taxis these days. We don't own cars, and don't really know how to get everywhere we want to go, so we depend on the taxi drivers to get us there. Because we are a family of five, we can't all fit in one taxi. The rule is no more than four, but since it's China, the word "rule" is, well, just kind of funny. Cars make left turns through the wrong side of the intersection, drive in the bicycle lanes, drive the wrong direction in the bicycle lanes, drive on the wrong side of the road, Don even saw a car driving on the sidewalk. So driving rules appear to be optional. Imagine a country full of people on bikes, give half of them cars, and watch what happens. Yes, they drive the cars like bikes.

But even without the "rule" we all don't fit into one cab, so if we are going somewhere by taxi, we have to take two. Taxis are cheap, it's usually only about 10RMB per trip, which is less than 2USD, and since it costs 2 RMB for the bus, sometimes taking a taxi is worth it for the convenience. For going to church, however, we have to go pretty far, so it's costing us around 25RMB per cab per direction, so that adds up to over $15. Despite our best efforts to be on time for the bus, we were running late this morning, so we took the taxis again. We did take the bus home, and the kind driver even slowed down enough that we could jump off at our stop before he sped off again.

Traveling by taxi is really kind of fun, though. Take today for instance. I hailed two cabs at once, John and I got in one, Donald and the girls in the other, and we were off! Our cab driver kept trying to pass Don and the girls, well he was trying to pass anyone, driving in two lanes at once to keep all options open, while not letting anyone pass him. The other driver was using similar techniques, so it was back and forth the whole way. Our driver took off on a side street for a short cut, getting us there way ahead of the other cab, but I had a coughing fit (my bronchitis) that let D, A and E catch up. So John and I had to run the last 20 yards or so to the apartment where we have church.

But we won. Stay tuned for next week's episode.

My doctor visit

2008-09-25T15:29:00.001+08:00

Well, it's been a while, and as Don explained, part of the problem is our internet connection. We're pretty frustrated. Add to that the priority of the kids using the computers for their homework, and it seems like the only time we can be online is early in the morning. And that just isn't going to work for me.

But really I just haven't been feeling very well, basically since we got here. We arrived exhausted, and that hasn't abated yet. I've put in some 10 and 11 hour nights of sleep, which has helped, but I also keep getting sick, which has slowed me down. Now I've got some respiratory thing, and anything respiratory for me means it settles in and lingers. I usually keep a candy dish of cough drops on my desk at school, since I can't talk without coughing, and talking is a main component of my job.

So yesterday I went to the doctor, and, wow, it was so great and so easy. A doctor from a health clinic here in Suzhou comes to the school every Wednesday. So I showed up, she diagnosed brochitis, handed me a bunch of medications, and I was done. That was it! She spoke English very well (she's from Singapore) and I didn't have to go through the usual rigamarole of trying to get an appointment, leaving work, going to the pharmacy, etc. Now if I could only find cough drops I'd be fine. I'm just afraid they are flavored like pork.

IKEA Shanghai

2008-09-14T22:30:00.007+08:00

We went to IKEA yesterday for some much needed supplies, including a wardrobe for our son, since the landlord apparently doesn't think we need storage for his clothes. It was kind of embarassing how much we bought, compared to the other teachers we went with, but then again, they don't have three kids.

So whether you love IKEA (I do because it reminds me of Sweden), or hate its mass-produced consumer climate, I'm just grateful they are here. Mainly because I could find bathmats without Hello Kitty on them. Thanks, IKEA!

It's a beautiful day in Shanghai!

These are people selling IKEA knockoff products in front of IKEA. It is China after all.

Crowded, but not as bad as other stores I've been to. I plan on getting some good "crowd" pictures tomorrow at a grocery store, since it's a holiday in China.

Enjoy yo meal! (look closely...)

Ahh, finally some meat we can identify!

Swedish crayfish. I haven't had these in years. I was the only one who liked these little guys. I love food that can look back.

What to do?

2008-09-11T20:43:00.001+08:00

Well, we’ve had our ayi for four days, and already there is a problem. The house looks great, she’s ironed all the laundry we’ve left out for her. Today it appears she stopped by to drop of cleaning supplies and made the kids’ beds while she was here (oops, I forgot to check them this morning). So what is the problem? We think we are paying her too much.

We should have asked around more, but we were feeling desperate and the rate seemed reasonable to us. Now it appears we are paying well over market rates for China. For example, the other American family in our complex is paying 1500 RMB for their ayi to work eight hours a day, five days a week. And she cooks, too. Another teacher, who is married to a Chinese woman and tends to know about the area, says the going rate is 10 RMB an hour (about $1.50). By my calculations we are paying about 20.

So, we have what amounts to a moral dilemma, of sorts. We don’t want to be perceived as chumps, and we certainly aren’t rich. On the other hand, during our meeting with the ayi here last week, we received a take-out delivery of fish and chips, for which I paid 250 RMB, or one week of what we pay her (and too much for fish and chips, I might add). Kind of puts things in perspective. I’m also feeling that three days a week is probably more than we need; she does such a great job, it’s easy to maintain. So I’m considering saying we just need two days, and offering about half of what we are currently paying, which would still be over the going rate. If that doesn’t work, well, at least my house is clean.

I got a maid

2008-09-08T22:04:00.004+08:00

Today when we came home from school the house was spotless. At first I didn’t notice anything was different; I had forgotten that our new maid was coming. But the floors looked different, as in clean, and that was my clue. For the first time in my adult life, someone outside of our family had been in our home, and washed and scrubbed. It was miraculous.

We’ve been talking for months about whether we should get a cleaning lady, or "ayi" in Mandarin (say the letters “I E”). Contacts told us how great it was and it sounded like it was the expected thing to do. Even so, I had pretty much decided that we wouldn’t want one until I saw the reality of our life here. As I mentioned previously, there is just not enough time in the day to work at my job and do all that ironing, washing dishes, etc. So I changed my mind.

On Thursday last week I was feeling sick, frustrated with trying to launder a set of sheets in our tiny washer and dryer, and generally in a bad mood. I went to bed at 6:30, and when I got up the next morning, discovered that Don had not only set up our wireless internet, but found us an ayi (yes, I have the world’s best husband). On Friday we met with the ayi to discuss specifics. She laughed at the size of my clothes washer, which made me feel rather justified in all this. She, too, immediately recognized the futility of trying to wash the clothes for a family of five in that thing in just a few hours a week.

The ayi will come on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings for four hours each, at the cost of 1000 RMB, or about $150 a month. She washed the floors, cleaned all the bathrooms, did some laundry, ironed the clothes I left out for her, dusted, even straightened all of the bedsheets, even though I had checked that everyone made their beds before we left (we can’t have the maid thinking we’re slobs, after all). Some people here have ayis that do everything, including cooking, child care, grocery shopping, etc. Our idea is, if she can take the edge off things, like our nice appliances did in the US, then it is money well spent.

So, this may work out. I still feel guilt at having someone else do our jobs for us. But she wants the job, I want the job done, and whether it is man or machine that I pay to do it, what does it really matter in the end? Plus coming home to a spotless house really is a pleasure. There may be other benefits too. After we checked out the clean rooms, John said, “Mom, maybe we just shouldn’t touch anything.” If this can make an eleven-year-old boy more careful about keeping things clean, well, now that really is a miracle.

First week of school

2008-09-07T20:44:00.002+08:00

Well, we made it through our first week of school. Three students and two teachers all starting a new school at the same time, it was pretty intense. Don and I are both teaching elementary ESL (English as a Second Language). Teaching younger kids is different for both of us, and in some ways will be difficult to get used to. Well, hey, we’re parents, so we’ve been around younger kids before.

For me, the hardest part of the week was watching so many children, including my own, with lost looks on their faces. Unlike most American schools, with just a few new kids each year, many of the students had just enrolled after moving from their home countries. A lot of the students are from Korea, but also from the US, Australia, Germany, France, Taiwan, Sweden, and Finland, to name a few. And at the elementary level, most come speaking no English, the curriculum language, so the change is pretty wrenching. Imagine you are six-years-old and just left your home and everything you know, and your parents send you to school where you spend all day understanding virtually nothing. That is the experience of many of these kids.

I felt good, though, that I was able to help a few students to feel taken care of. I have two little French girls in my ESL class, and I was glad that I could speak some French (badly) to them, and they seemed to feel better for it. In another instance, a teacher was trying to talk to three lost little girls. Two looked pretty Scandinavian, so I took a chance and started speaking Swedish. Sure enough, one was from Sweden and she started to talk my ear off. The other two were from Finland and Italy. The girls didn’t speak the same language, but they were clinging to each other for comfort. It was sad and heartening at the same time.

At least my own children speak English. And yet they were having a hard time, too. John was obsessed with getting a printout of his schedule, which for some reason they didn’t give him for the first few days. I can understand his distress; he already feels lost and out of control in our move, and a printed schedule gives him some much-needed structure. Since he got the schedule he seems less stressed about school. By the end of the week, all of the kids were talking about the students in their classes, the countries they are from, and generally seemed a little less freaked out and a little more calm. Allyne is even trying out for the school play. It’s still going to take some time, but I’m sure they, like the rest of the new students, will eventually feel like they are part of the school community.

I miss my appliances

2008-09-03T20:56:00.027+08:00

I said I would write a post about the appliances and I'm finally doing it. One reason it has taken me so long is that our internet has been spotty or just not working. That situation, along with the state of our appliances has been making me rather frustrated. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret what we are doing. But American life has accustomed me to a certain amount of convenience, speed and efficiency, which are sorely lacking here. Just about everything I want to do takes at least four times longer than it did back home, whether it is logging into the computer, getting groceries, or doing the laundry. So follow along for a report on the machines (or lack thereof) that inhabit our home:

The sink. So small even one plate can't lay flat in it. Do I need to say more? Yes, I do. Dishwashers have revolutionized womanhood. There.

The oven. Don just used it for the first time tonight. It actually worked pretty well. So we can have our cookie fix now and then.

The refrigerator is tiny, too, but actually it hasn't been a problem. Mainly it means I can't overbuy, and the produce has to be used quickly, instead of languishing until it becomes soup. The freezer is on the bottom, by the way. I'm not sure why it is the same amount of space as the fridge part.

I actually like the stove. The gas burners get really hot, which is great when making Chinese food. Finally I get the temperature I want! But you have to watch things like sauces, because it's pretty hard to get the right simmer. We just have to get used to that. When I have my "dream" kitchen someday, I want one burner like these for wok cooking. The toaster is the first we've ever had (only toaster ovens), and the rice cooker is great. If you don't have one, go get one. I had one back in the US and I never want to be without one.

This is the TV in my and Don's room. We've never had a TV in our room before, in fact, we've pretty much been a one TV family until now . We get quality shows like the Mandarin version of the popular 80s sitcom "Growing Pains". Here we see Mike having a moment.

The TV in the family room. The cable is out, but we haven't bothered to report it because A: it's too much of a pain to deal with our "agent", and B: no one is particularly missing it, even though we could be watching the 24 hour Toy Channel, in which they talk about and show kids playing with...toys.

This is the electric AC/heating unit, and each room has it's own. So far, it works great to cool the house. We'll see how well it works in the winter. We may be stocking up on blankets.

Ah, the washer. A bucket that spins. No hot water, no special settings, no bleach dispenser, no timers, none of the great features I came to know and love on my washer back home (which I wiped with a diaper, I loved it so). This washer and I are tolerating one another, but it's not a happy relationship. Notice the size (the iron is on top for scale). Notice we are five full-size Americans. Notice the scowl on my face.

The interior. No agitator. The clothes are really just rinsed and it shows. At least the agent helpfully put stickers with English words on them so I could run the stupid thing. Sigh.

Don calls this the "Easy Bake Dryer" and as you can see from the size of the iron on top, it isn't an inaccurate description: the settings are "on" or "off", and you can't fit much in it. It enjoys a nice view from the laundry porch, though.

This is the dryer with three pillowcases in it. I tried to dry seven, but they just turned into a crumpled wad. To me, the point of a dryer is not having to iron anything. But to dry anything in this dryer without it wrinkling, the loads have to be small. Like one shirt.

Conclusion: I'm getting a maid. Yes, you heard me right. I've never wanted to pay someone to do our work for us but the reality is this: we are five people, in a small apartment, with two working parents, and sub-par or non-existent appliances. I can't spend my evenings running miniscule loads of laundry and ironing everything we own. So, let's give a big shout out to our machine friends who make American life enjoyable, doable, and downright civilized. Now go give your dishwasher a big hug from me.

Dreaming

2008-08-30T06:21:00.005+08:00

Well, it's 6 am and I've had yet another half-wakeful night. I really can't remember when I was able to just sleep right through the night, without my friend, Benadryl. I remember my dreams, though: one night I was in France visiting our friends but I couldn't talk to them; last night I was in some region of the world that harbors terrorists and I could travel through time and space instantly, yet I stayed there. Hmm, wonder what all that means. I haven't yet dreamt I was back in Arizona, as far as I know.

I just can't completely relax, and haven't in months. I am so proud of all the work we've done: researching the possibilities of this project, going after the jobs, landing the job in THE city in the world I wanted to live in most right now, making our house look beautiful to sell, getting the family here, hitting the ground running when we got here to make this place our home. And it does feel like home already. But even so, something in my psyche resents being yanked half way across the world. We have completely stepped out of our comfort zone, and I guess none of us really have our bearings yet, in spite of the fact that we are all excited to be here. So it's my job and Don's to create a new comfort zone for our kids so they feel taken care of.

And as for me, I'm going to invent my own comfortable place, because while I love it here, it's still too new. And it's not in Arizona, because while I liked it there, I also willingly gave it up, and, at least at this point, I can't go back. So my place is a cottage in Sweden, next to a small lake out in the country. No neighbors, just a porch to sit on in the evenings and look at the sun glistening on the lake, while eating cardamom buns and drinking hot chocolate. The cottage furnishings are right out of a Carl Larsson painting, and in the bedroom is a huge white bed, all white linens, soft white pillows. It's late May, so if I wake up at 1 or 2 am, I can sit on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, and watch the sky glow with the rising sun. And then I can climb back into bed, and sleep again, because I have nowhere to be, nothing to do, but be there with my family.

New Blog

2008-08-28T21:40:00.002+08:00

I don't have time to do my next post yet, but I'll put in a plug for Don's and my new blog called "What the Snack is That?" in which we review all the bizarre Chinese snacks we have been finding. And there are many. So check out our first posts at www.whatthesnack.blogspot.com . And I'll post again here soon.

Our Apartment

2008-08-22T07:40:00.011+08:00

The dining room. The wall "art" has to go.

The living room, Allyne and more bad wall art. We like the couch, though.

Three of the rooms have huge window seats.

The kids are already using these as a place to nap. We're going to get someone to make seat cushions and pillows to make it even more bed-like.

The "atrium", actually a sun porch with a retractable clothes-line. We've basically given Emma carte blanche to put whatever plants in there she wants. She's pretty excited about it. So is the little old Chinese guy at the nursery.

Another view of the living room. Except for the plants and the Wii, everything you see in these rooms was provided by the school.

Emma at the desk in John's room, which is where all of us currently access the internet. That chair gets a lot of seat-time. We asked the real-estate agent for a wardrobe for John; the rooms don't have closets and John's has no wardrobe, either. She seemed to think the bookcase was sufficient. When I asked her where John should keep his clothes, she told me to ask the school. Sigh. Well, the school will have more leverage than we will on that anyway, so I'll take her advice and get them to talk to our landlord.

Allyne and Emma's room. We don't have enough hangars and we've already cleared two stores of their stock. Getting hangars for five people's entire wardrobe is not an easy feat. You can see laundry hanging in the atrium. Why we are air-drying our clothes will be apparent when I do my post on Chinese appliances.

This is the view from Don's and my bedroom window. Not bad, eh? The apartment complexes here all have gardens in the middle. We also have a little store in the complex. As the Chinese always say, it's "convenient". For some reason they love that word. Must have been in Lesson 23 of The People's Number 7 English.

Me and Don's room. We have our own bathroom, too. The beds are hard, like a box spring. I love it. The kids don't.

View from the kitchen.

Stove. They provided a toaster, bread, orange marmalade and tea. What do they think we are, British? We had to get our own wok and rice steamer.

The first dinner I cooked in the kitchen: Unidentified fish, which I couldn't get the fish guy to clean, even though he had just cleaned someone elses fish (I did it myself..mostly), grean beans and garlic, and rice. No one complained, so I consider it a success.

View from John's room. He has the best view with the canal and the city. We just look at the neighbors from our side.

We've landed

2008-08-20T20:31:00.006+08:00

Well, after 10 long months of working on this, we finally got to China on Monday evening. Here are some pictures to get started, with much more to come.

We took 15 bags with us. If you include our "personal" bags we carried on the plane, it was 22 items we had to keep track of. Notice our duffle bags from Larada's Army Surplus. John loved the military look.

Our street: Xian Guo Jie. Or something like that.

Our apartment building. Count up four windows to the far left, that window is J's, and the two windows next to it are ours, too. We have windows on the other side as well, looking right into the apartments of our neighbors. Whether they are in their underwear or eating, we're all one big happy human family.

Lest you thought we were roughing it, here is proof we are not. This is the list of stores being build right next door (click on the image for a closer look). Notice we can't even get away from Walmart here. At least we'll have a DairyQueen to keep us happy.

A view of our apartment building, right next to the new construction. The canals are all over Suzhou, in the old parts and the new. Wish we had our canoe...

Fortunes

2008-08-04T10:42:00.000+08:00

Even though we'll be eating a lot of Chinese food in China, that hasn't stopped us from craving it while we wait. Here are some of the recent fortunes we've gotten this summer (and, yeah, I know fortune cookies are not Chinese):

“To be eighty years young is more cheerful and hopeful than forty years old.” – I got this one and I just turned forty. Does it imply that forty-year-olds are not cheerful and hopeful? I like to think I’m cheerful and hopeful at forty. I hope.

“The simplest answer is to act.” – Don got this one. Seems appropriate to our current situation, and reminds me of Don’s favorite scripture about “acting” and not letting ourselves be “acted upon”. In other words, we can make our own choices, we control our reactions.

“You will soon be crossing great waters.” – Another one of mine. I laughed really hard when I got it.

“Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation.” – John got this fortune. We were all happy he got it because he has the strongest reservations about our move to China. I’m not sure it helped.

“Your happy heart brings joy and peace where there is none.” – This one is mine. See, I am cheerful!

“Consider gain and loss, but never be greedy and everything will be all right.” – Not sure who got this one, but, wow, does this seem to apply to us right now. And, yeah, I think everything’s gonna be alright.

“Success is a journey not a destination.” – I think this was Allyne’s. Couldn’t agree more.

“Try your best to avoid arguing with your elders and superiors.” – This was Emma’s, and wow, did we laugh hard. Not ten minutes later she was arguing with Don, so I said, “Emma, what happened to the fortune?” She replied, “Mom, it just said ‘try’.”

“Past experience: He who never makes mistakes, never did anything that’s worthy.” – This is similar to something I’ve been saying to my perfectionist kids for years, and, more recently, I've been saying it about our move. One reason we are moving to China is Allyne really hasn’t liked her high school experience. Allyne asked me once, “Mom, what if we move and it isn’t better?” I told her, “Well, we can stay here for more of the same, or we can make a change and see if it works out. If we go, at least we’ll know that we tried.”

“Keep it simple: The more you say, the less people remember.” – Amen.

Bake a cake

2008-07-30T02:15:00.000+08:00

Thank goodness for my sister-in-law’s birthday. I was trying to figure out what to give her and decided to bake her a cake. We’ve been trying to avoid over-comforting ourselves with food while we’re on our long wait, so I haven’t been baking as much. But I love to bake; I always feel better after making something, and Emma joined in saying, “Baking calms me.” I enjoy watching the batter change and take shape as each ingredient is added, and my kids laugh at me when I call them over to look at how “beautiful” it is. I need the creative process and cooking is just that, a way to create, with the best part being you get to share it with someone else. Plus I get to lick the bowl.

When I was growing up my dad was the same way. Often on Sunday afternoon he would get baking, making various cookies, cakes, and desserts. I remember trying to help, but he loves the process so much that I would barely start to stir, when he would grab the spoon from me and finish it off. I had to laugh as I baked with Emma, because I caught myself doing the same thing a couple of times. Well, I guess I’ve earned the right, and when Emma bakes with her kids she can have first dibs on the spoon.

So, following is the recipe that Emma and I invented. We didn’t have cream, so we used sour cream, and we added raspberry syrup because it sounded like it would be good, and it was. We put it on a layered white cake, with raspberry jam between the layers and it turned out pretty good. But like I said to Don, I felt better and more relaxed even before I got to try it. That’s what baking does for me, just like for my dad, and I’m glad to pass on the tradition to my own children. Thanks, Stephanie, for giving us an excuse to bake a cake.

Raspberry Ganache

1 12 oz. bag chocolate chips
4 Tbs. butter
¼ cup light corn syrup
¾ cup sour cream
¼ cup raspberry syrup

Melt chocolate, butter, corn syrup and sour cream in microwave on high for about 2 minutes, or until soft. Stir with a wisk until smooth (microwave for more time if chocolate is not melted enough). Add raspberry syrup and stir. Cool till slightly thickened and pour over cake, or cool completely, whip lightly, and spread like a frosting.

Our dilemma

2008-07-26T09:39:00.000+08:00

All of this process has been hard and time consuming. We’ve been at this for most of a year, and have yet to leave for China. We have the jobs, we have the visas, we’ve sold our house. And yet what is one of the most difficult things about this process? Getting rid of the stuff.

We started really early on, disposing of our things. Don and I have never been shy about throwing things away or giving them to charity, but we’ve never done it on this scale. We happily took load after load of donations to Goodwill, and it felt great. The house and garage looked sparser and cleaner, and we were getting closer to our goal. When we were ready to put the house on the market, we had gone through cupboards and the garage and we felt that we had done a good job of culling the unnecessary chattel.

Then we moved. While friends helped us load the moving truck, I looked on and told Don, “I don’t even want most of this,” but it was too late to do anything about it. When we got to Don’s parents and unloaded everything into their shop, it was depressing and, frankly, humiliating. There sat most of our life’s possessions, in one humongous pile for everyone to see. It’s impossible to know how much space an entire household of items will take up, but to have them there together in one mass was humbling and very, very frustrating. How could we possibly need everything we had moved, and what would we do with it now?

The dilemma is this: If we only go for two years, won’t we need most of this? And if we go for ten years, why would we want to store all of this? To replace an entire household will be expensive, yet will we even want most of it when we get back? It’s impossible to answer these questions, so we’ve agreed on a couple of things. One is, we really hope we can live overseas for a long time, so if that is our goal, we’re going for it, in every way, and that includes getting rid of most of our things. Second, we agree that we want to live more free from material things, and this is a way to start. As our friend Karl says, “Everything you own owns a piece of you.”

So in the end, we’ve kept some favorite furniture, books, photographs and mementos, some kitchen items, and the things the kids wanted to keep. Will we want even that when we return? Who knows? But at least for now, we feel a lot less encumbered by stuff, and hope that it is the beginning of a life focused more on experiences and less on possessions.

Leaving our Home

2008-07-08T13:10:00.000+08:00

It’s been over a week since we sold and moved out of our house. This was a huge project for us, as it involved finishing some projects, replacing carpet and countertops, re-painting all of the kitchen cabinetry, etc. It sold fast; we got two offers only 5 days after we put it on the market, and we basically got our asking price. People were shocked, but we weren’t; we priced it to sell, and we had it looking super sharp.

People kept saying to us, “It looks so great, you’re not going to want to leave,” but this is what we want to do. However, when it came to actually leaving, it was incredibly hard. Not because of the new carpet or kitchen, but because we loved living there, and have some great memories. Our kids all went to the elementary school across the street. We had a lot of good events there, for holidays and birthdays. We had our exchange student, and now dear friend, Emily, live with us there for a year. We cooked a lot of great meals there for friends and family. There are just so many good memories for us that involve that house, and we felt really at home there.

When we left, it was heart-wrenching, and we stood in the entry, hugging each other and crying. It was physically hard to walk out the door and leave it behind. So the funny thing is, all of us are feeling relief now that that part is over. In fact, after so much time spent working on and thinking about that house, Don and I are enjoying the freedom of not worrying about it. Our daughter, Emma, just told us today, that she likes living here, where we are now. And our son, John, said, “Everyone is nicer to each other since we’ve moved.” After all those months of preparation, we’re spending a lot of time together, enjoying each other’s company, and we don’t have many responsibilities right now.

So, I guess this is our vacation, from home-ownership, from working on our big move, from our jobs, from everything we had. And right now, it feels pretty good.

On Leaving America

2008-07-05T14:22:00.001+08:00

Pictures are views from our temporary home.

I’ve been looking forward to living someplace other than the United States. There are all the reasons for living abroad: opportunities, travel, adventure. But I have to admit, there are some reasons I want to be away from America right now, and it’s not the usual, “I hate the current administration” stuff. It has nothing to do with politics. I’ve become disillusioned with our consumer culture and the accompanying complacency.

One of the biggest reasons we’ve pursued this course is that we worry about the influence that the consumer culture is having on our kids. We feel that they see examples in our culture and with their peers that promote the idea that you don’t need to worry about your future, and that everything you want is easy to acquire. By living in a culture in which failing to do well in school literally can mean you lose any chance of landing a decent job, we believe our children will appreciate the opportunities our country has to offer, and see the value of hard work and perseverance.

So during this process, I’ve been feeling no regret about leaving the US for a time, maybe a long time. That is, until about a month ago. I was attending the funeral of my step-grandfather. He was a WWII vet and had a military funeral. The ceremonial unfolding and folding of the flag was very impressive to me, and as they displayed the flag I started crying, really sobbing. I couldn’t help it; the sorrow of leaving my country was totally overwhelming. I’m sure people thought I was mourning my step-grandfather, but at that moment I was mourning the loss of my country, both in a real sense by leaving, and what I feel is a loss of the strength and resolve of its people. I love my country, and I hope that I’m wrong, but I’m worried about where we are headed, and it has less to do with our elected officials, and more to do with the people electing them.

Enjoy the Process

2008-07-03T11:32:00.000+08:00

Ok, I need to write in this more, not just once a month. Let me tell you why I started this blog. I don’t intend it to be just a travelogue. I guess I have a lot to say about why I’m doing this, what it really means to do something big that I’ve always dreamed of doing, and whether it all turns out as I imagined.

I had already been thinking about writing a blog, but my friend Mary encouraged me to start. I was having a particularly stressful day at work, just before school got out, and I stopped by her office for some support. She listened to everything I had going on: finishing the school year, getting ready to move, selling the house, etc., and she said, “Lee, you know you really need to write all this down so you remember. This part is important, too. You need to remember how you got to China, not just what happens when you get there.” This reminded me of my dad who more than once has told me to enjoy the process, not just the end result.

So my intent over the next few weeks, while we wait to leave, is to write about the process. Why did we decide to do this? What went into the decision-making? What were the steps? Hopefully someone will find it interesting, helpful, or maybe inspiring in following their own dream.

And many thanks to Mary. She’s currently a little sidetracked from her own dreams, while she recovers from a car accident. But she’s a great friend and mentor to me, and one of the people I turn to when I need a sane word or two to get me back on target. Mary, you are the best and my thoughts are with you.

Europe with Students

2008-06-21T09:42:00.000+08:00

Our life has been pretty crazy lately. We spent months researching how to go about moving to China, conducted an international teaching job search, worked on and sold our house, now we are getting ready to actually move out. In the middle of this chaos, we stopped everything and chaperoned a trip to Europe for Don's students. And it was the best thing we've done in a long time.

(Photo: Some of us at the Acropolis in Athens)

One of my favorite nights was in Paris. We ate the tour dinner, which was unexceptional but for the waiter who dumped escargot on a Japanese tourist's head (she wore a plastic bag on her head for the rest of the meal!). Truthfully, we didn't know mediocre food existed in France. Some of the kids were disappointed, we were disappointed, Don was grumbling, "This isn't French food..." So late that night we took a group of kids out in search of good food.

Our hotel was located on a street with Turkish businesses, so we went to a Turkish restaurant and ordered by looking at the pictures. A few of the kids seemed skeptical, but they gave it a try. By the end of the meal, everyone was raving about the food, tasting the last of the baklava the owner gave us on-the-house, and making plans to come back the next night, which some of them did. I was thrilled to be witness to students trying something new, and loving it, and it set the tone for the rest of the trip, by the end of which the kids were telling us, "You've got to try this restaurant we found!" Wow, teachers live for that stuff.

So, when people ask me about the trip, I don't mention Pompeii, which I have been longing to see my whole life, and I don't tell them that the Acropolis looked spectacular at night. Instead, I enthusiastically explain how great it was to travel with this group of kids, and to see them grow and mature over the course of a couple of weeks. As someone who spends almost all her time managing teenagers, as both a parent and teacher, meeting people as mature, interesting, considerate and hilarious as these students reaffirmed my belief that each generation has good things to offer, if we just take the time to look. I am honored I was able to get to know these young adults and those two weeks will always be among my favorite travel memories.

First Post

2008-05-28T10:49:00.000+08:00

Hi, you found me! I'll be periodically writing my thoughts and observations about our move to China. I'm planning on including photos, opinions, recipes (!), and whatever seems relevant or interesting to me. Since this is my first blog, please bear with me as I figure out what I'm doing and what I want to include.
Please give me your feedback and please stay in touch with me. We're convinced that we need to make this move, but that doesn't mean I won't miss everyone. Thanks for your friendship and thanks for reading!